Written by CGD - Tue 9th Nov 2021
If you're in a happy, healthy relationship and pursuing your passions, and with the right person, life can feel great. But if you happen to be in an unhappy relationship, or simply with the wrong person, life can feel like an uphill struggle. With a true partner by your side, you can work through life's inevitable ups and downs. With an unsupportive or incompatible partner, these obstacles can seem insurmountable.
Do you think you've found the right woman? Here are ten things to check to be sure you're right.
When you're in a relationship remember that equal trust is one of the most important factors to consider when deciding if you have found the right partner. If you don't trust each other completely, you might as well walk away now. It will never get easier than it is in the beginning of a relationship. You should both be honest with each other because you need to work hard to create mutual trust and respect. If you find yourself worrying when she goes out with her friends or calling to ask where she is, there is no trust there and ultimately you may make yourself unhappy.
Do you enjoy trying something new? Do you enjoy walking/jogging or going outdoors during your free time, or may be going to the gym and your partner would rather stay in to watch box sets? While neither of these lifestyles is inherently better than the other, having vastly different ideas of how to live your lives could ultimately spell trouble. This isn't really a matter of learning how to split your free time, this is a matter of core beliefs and values that are not aligned.
Life is a massive journey and that journey is a lot more interesting and enjoyable if you share it with someone who can teach you or show you new things and impart their knowledge, You don't need to be with a professor for your partner to open your eyes to new ways of thinking or to teach you how to cook a 3-course gourmet meal. Couples who learn and share knowledge from one another have more to talk about and a more diverse life.
Communication is the key for the development or maintenance of any relationship. Without communication, things could get lost in the mix or forgotten about altogether. Communication is sometimes entirely looked over or taken for granted. Communicating effectively is something that rarely happens naturally for a lot of people. It is often something that people have to work at in their relationship. Despite being difficult, communicating effectively with your partner is possible and well worth it. Establishing this healthy communication in relationships is incredibly important for many different reasons.
Conflict in a relationship is something most couples will deal with at some point. Truthfully, not all conflict is bad. However, it should be resolved healthily and quickly. Communication is a great tool to dive deep into someone and who they truly are; you should be on a deeper level with your significant other.
Respect in a relationship is the key to a harmonious and happy life. Not only is it important for love relationships, but it's also important for healthy social relationships too with your family or friends.
For some people, the importance of respect is very obvious, while others are struggling to understand why it's important to ask partners when making big decisions or why we should give in and do something we wouldn't choose.
We don't like doing certain things, but we can still do them and find enjoyment if we know that by doing them, our partners feel respected and loved. How many times have you lost respect for someone after they have done something you don't approve of? Once lost, it can rarely be retrieved and restored. Respect is very fragile in a sense because it can take a long time to be earned, and it can be broken and lost in a second.
The bare minimum threshold for respect in a relationship is that you have to respect your partner for being a human. You should always treat your partner with the amount of respect you will want any other human being to give you.
Have you discussed your long-term goals? When you are with the right woman, your goals will align. You will both lean into the other to create a shared vision for your future. If you have some variations in your vision, that's perfectly okay. But if one of you is unwilling to bend on your dreams to compromise for the other, then that's a problem.
So often, you hear songs or watch films that focus on the rocky start of a relationship. Maybe it's filled with drama and passion and it can be tempting to view this film as something that is normal and will lead to something special once the relationship settles down. In reality if the beginning of a relationship is difficult, the rest of it will only get worse. The right woman will make your life easier. You will enjoy your time together, you will talk openly, and you won't feel that love/hate dynamic.
Your friends and family aren't going anywhere. How is the dynamic between your girlfriend and your family? Whilst it is possible that they may not be best friends, no good can come from your family disliking your girlfriend (or vice versa). Your friends and family have been by your side for a long time. If your girlfriend clashes with them, it's going to be a very rocky relationship. The same is true of your relationship with her friends.
People don't change. Or rather, they are capable of change, but only when they decide to change on their own terms. If you love your partner but wish she was kinder, more intelligent, less talkative, more tidy and less irritable, then that dissatisfaction will only grow. This doesn't mean you have to love every single annoying habit, but it does mean you have to accept it and be able to live with it forever. Likewise, she should feel the same about your quirks and habits.
When you find the right woman, everything else in your life will become easier. If you have problems at work, she will walk you through them. If you want to make some big life changes, she will support you. If you experience a tragedy, she will comfort you. The right partner makes the entire journey of life a lot less rocky. So, chose your partner wisely. It is easily the most important decision you will ever make.
A sense of humour can go a long way towards a happy relationship. If you are with the right woman, she will know exactly what to say at the right time - she will feel like your soulmate, the person you can't live without. Couples who have been married for decades frequently cite a sense of humour as the secret ingredient to a happy marriage.